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  • Writer's pictureCasper Pam

Casper Has Opinions about: DON'T WORRY DARLING

Updated: Jan 12, 2023

*Spoilers *Some adult dog/human language.



PAM - So we saw "Don't Worry Darling".

CASPER - Yup.

PAM - It wasn't that great.

CASPER - Nope.

PAM - I mean, there were good things about it!

CASPER - Sure.

PAM - The first hour was a fun ride.

CASPER - I guess.

PAM - You're a dog of few words, huh?

CASPER - The performances were great. You can always count on Chris Pine and Florence Pugh to deliver.

PAM - You love Chris Pine.

CASPER- Whatever.

PAM - If you had human cheeks, you'd be blushing right now.

CASPER - He's above average in talent and looks.

PAM - I enjoyed the journey of the film until...

CASPER - ... Until we didn't.

PAM - That's right. Right about the time they all got together for that big "Congratulations Harry Styles" party.

CASPER - Yeah, from that point on I was annoyed and continued to be annoyed until the reveal of what they want us to believe is a twist at the end.

PAM - I didn't mind the twist.

CASPER - is that why you rolled your eyes when it was revealed?

PAM - I rolled my eyes at Oliva Wilde's speech about her kids being real in there. That made me chuckle.

CASPER - It was a lot.

PAM - Anything you wanna say about Harry Styles?

CASPER - I will say this... I kinda get why Shia dropped out. It had so little to do with his character. Harry was fine. He did his job.

PAM - Yeah. So why did we choose this movie? I mean, we're only supposed to choose to review things that heavily feature music and/or animals.

CASPER - Well, the soundtrack was great! Brought back a lot of hits.

PAM - From your previous life as a 1950's diner owner?

CASPER - Correct.

PAM - That's honestly my favorite part about going to Mel's diner. When you put the quarter in and you choose your song.... it plays faintly in the background. Most of the time you miss it.

CASPER - Do you have a go to song?

PAM - If they have Eternal Flame by the Bengles, I'll put that right on.

CASPER - Isnt' that 80s?

PAM - Yeah, but sometimes they have it in those jukeboxes. Otherwise it's America Graffiti soundtrack all the way.

CASPER - You're such a slut for soundtracks.

PAM - I know. And Don't Worry Darling didn't make me mad about the soundtrack. Also... {SPOILER ALERT} Simulated animals are just runnin' wild around there.

CASPER - I think i'd like it. Back then, you'd go to a butcher shop and the big guy behind the counter was so happy to see you. You'd get a slice of meat and a head pat.

PAM - Wait... were you a dog in the 50s?

CASPER - Maybe it's the 50's right now and we're in a 'future simulation'.

PAM - (long pause) Welp... there goes sleeping soundly tonight.

CASPER- I give it 1 paw up.

PAM - Half a hand for me.

CASPER - Do you get phantom pains from what would be the rest of your hand?

PAM - I get Phantom of the Opera pains.

CASPER - That joke wasn't that good.

PAM - Like the movie we just saw.

CASPER - Yeah. (beat) I love Florence Pugh though.

PAM - Yeah. My hand is up, but it's not flashing any fingers.

CASPER - Got it.


overall: 5.5/20



1.5/4





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