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  • Writer's pictureCasper Pam

Casper Has Opinions on M3GAN

**SPOILERS and relatively bad dog language below.

CASPER: I literally don't know where to start.

PAM: I'll start. (Takes a moment) M3GAN is the story of...

CASPER: I'm gonna start.

PAM: Alright.

CASPER: I didn't really know what to expect going into this flick.

PAM: We say "Flick" now?

CASPER: ... and while I have a better idea of how to feel after it.... I'm still confused about a lot.

PAM: So let's begin with what it's about.

CASPER: Kid loses parents, has to live with aunt. Aunt works at a toy company. Aunt is building an AI toy to help alleviate parental responsibilities and keep kids company.

PAM: I like that you're using words like flick and alleviate.

CASPER: I will not dumb myself down for you.

PAM: (Silence)

CASPER: (Silence)

PAM: I loved it.

CASPER: I'm not gonna lie, I kinda did too.

PAM: What was your favorite part?

CASPER: When the doll would sing.

PAM: Obviously.

CASPER: Yours?

PAM: Same though. For what it was. I loved it. A campy self-aware comedic horror movie.

CASPER: Very self-aware.

PAM: I mean, God I hope so.

CASPER: I thought the little girl was great.

PAM: First of all, you know how picky I am about child actors.

CASPER: I do. I do. You're a lot more forgiving to pet actors.

PAM: I am. I am. The little girl was awesome.

CASPER: Allison Williams, who plays the aunt, chooses great material like this and Get Out and my only problem is... she didn't seem self-aware like at all. She took it tooseriously.

PAM: But that's a problem? I feel like you have to take it seriously or it won't be funny. If she plays to the camp, then the camp is too campy.

CASPER: I just felt like she was in a different movie.

PAM: Okay.

CASPER: I did not like the dog scene.

PAM: Well, who did?

CASPER: As a somewhat aggressive dog...

PAM: Somewhat agg-

CASPER: SOMEWHAT AGGRESSIVE... I just didn't like that Allison's first reaction to a tiny dog bite is "PUT IT DOWN! KILL IT"

PAM: That's why you didn't like her. Did you like M3GAN more than Allison?

CASPER: M3GAN is a national treasure.

PAM: M3GAN is the one who actually killed the dog!!

CASPER: (Beat) Oh yeah.

PAM: That doll singing though...

CASPER: I remember turning to you at one point and going "What is this movie?"

PAM: But we were so there for it.

CASPER: Very fun.

PAM: So your score?

CASPER: I'm gonna give it a full paw and a half.

PAM: Whatever, you did not like The Northman as much as M3GAN.


PAM: Horses died in the Northman!

CASPER: I Don't care about f*cking horses.

PAM: I give it a hand and 3 fingers. At times it kept me at the edge of my seat, it was ridiculous without being ridiculous the whole time. I laughed a lot and went "oh no..." a lot. Solid fun.

CASPER: (after a minute) The dog didn't have to die...

overall 15.5/20

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2 comentarios

13 ene 2023

Oh my....

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12 ene 2023

😁 😂 funny!

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