Casper Has Opinions on M3GAN
**SPOILERS and relatively bad dog language below.
CASPER: I literally don't know where to start.
PAM: I'll start. (Takes a moment) M3GAN is the story of...
CASPER: I'm gonna start.
CASPER: I didn't really know what to expect going into this flick.
PAM: We say "Flick" now?
CASPER: ... and while I have a better idea of how to feel after it.... I'm still confused about a lot.
PAM: So let's begin with what it's about.
CASPER: Kid loses parents, has to live with aunt. Aunt works at a toy company. Aunt is building an AI toy to help alleviate parental responsibilities and keep kids company.
PAM: I like that you're using words like flick and alleviate.
CASPER: I will not dumb myself down for you.
PAM: I loved it.
CASPER: I'm not gonna lie, I kinda did too.
PAM: What was your favorite part?
CASPER: When the doll would sing.
PAM: Same though. For what it was. I loved it. A campy self-aware comedic horror movie.
CASPER: Very self-aware.
PAM: I mean, God I hope so.
CASPER: I thought the little girl was great.
PAM: First of all, you know how picky I am about child actors.
CASPER: I do. I do. You're a lot more forgiving to pet actors.
PAM: I am. I am. The little girl was awesome.
CASPER: Allison Williams, who plays the aunt, chooses great material like this and Get Out and my only problem is... she didn't seem self-aware like at all. She took it tooseriously.
PAM: But that's a problem? I feel like you have to take it seriously or it won't be funny. If she plays to the camp, then the camp is too campy.
CASPER: I just felt like she was in a different movie.
CASPER: I did not like the dog scene.
PAM: Well, who did?
CASPER: As a somewhat aggressive dog...
PAM: Somewhat agg-
CASPER: SOMEWHAT AGGRESSIVE... I just didn't like that Allison's first reaction to a tiny dog bite is "PUT IT DOWN! KILL IT"
PAM: That's why you didn't like her. Did you like M3GAN more than Allison?
CASPER: M3GAN is a national treasure.
PAM: M3GAN is the one who actually killed the dog!!
CASPER: (Beat) Oh yeah.
PAM: That doll singing though...
CASPER: I remember turning to you at one point and going "What is this movie?"
PAM: But we were so there for it.
CASPER: Very fun.
PAM: So your score?
CASPER: I'm gonna give it a full paw and a half.
PAM: Whatever, you did not like The Northman as much as M3GAN.
CASPER: A DOG DIES IN THIS!
PAM: Horses died in the Northman!
CASPER: I Don't care about f*cking horses.
PAM: I give it a hand and 3 fingers. At times it kept me at the edge of my seat, it was ridiculous without being ridiculous the whole time. I laughed a lot and went "oh no..." a lot. Solid fun.
CASPER: (after a minute) The dog didn't have to die...